you never lost me
i swear i swear i swear
i love you from the absolute bottom of my heart
i would never do anything to hurt you
you’re beautiful and i want you to believe it and take it as your own i want you to tattoo it across your fucking forehead ‘im bEAUTIFUL‘
BECAUSE YOU ARE
it pains me so much, when i see you not okay
not happy
not anything
a walking-dead
there are so many things i wantwantwant to say to you but i dont know how to write them
or form the right words and say them
i cant i wouldnt know where to start
my head is spinning
youre so fascinating and intriguing and i wish i had more time to spend with you
when i saw the smile on your face today
the way your eyes lit up
your laugh
it scared me because i know this is just a show you’ve been rehearsing and practising for so long
and you’ve become so good at it
so sometimes i think youre okay, which i really hope you are
i dont know how to ask when things arent
i know im just rambling
things are pacing and piling quickly and i cant control anything
i dont know why i do the things i do
‘but I think going to city school will make me happy and motivated to go to school’
‘i don’t care not everything in life is going to make you happy’
‘but when presented with the opportunity why not go for it?’
‘they offer Spanish lol’
‘if you want to learn Spanish you can learn it online’
‘if I can learn Spanish online I can learn any other course online I can learn all my other courses online too’
‘…’
is everyone just constantly trying to piss me off
is that the fucking meaning of everybody’s life
until I finally give in and just shoot myself in the face
and everyone throws a party and high-five like “fuck yeah that only took ___ many years, but we did it guys”
wow and oops almost posted that to the wrong blog
